fuck. my. weakness.

i don't hate him, my weakness. how can i when he's everything i want?
i'm so pathetic when it comes to him.
can't sleep without him.
can't live without him.
can't sit without thinking about him.
we always sleep in the same position.
he puts his arm underneath me & rests it on my side.
i lay my head on his chest and put my arm across his stomach.
it's so peaceful.
it's the only way i can sleep.
last night i put an extra blanket on; cause i feel the cold like a motherfucker.
he got hot and said he had to turn away from me.
and stop holding me.
what did i do?
i cried.
only a little; but he knew.
i couldn't help it.
he took something i love away from me.
something i need.
i'd be the craziest drug addict.
ever.
he put his arm back around me.
i slept like a baby.

another thing.
ugh.
we've been to the movies as a couple twice.
and everytime.
something fucked up happens.
i don't want to repeat the second time.
important people know what happened.

the first time.
was Star Trek ( *fangasm @ thought of Spock* )
i met him after tafe and we went to south bank.
it was cold & raining.
but we had dinner and sat and talked for a little while.
then we saw the movie.
and after christen wanted to go to a porno store.
to show me.
;facepalm.;
i said i didn't want to go because it was raining hard now.
he ignored me.
and made me walk across the bridge to the city in the rain.
it was freezing.
i was, to say the least, unimpressed.
i ended up getting sick, too.
:@:@:@:@

i think i'm going to avoid going to the movies with him.
oh, wait. i just remembered.
we saw the hangover at carindale cinemas.
no drama there.
southbank has bad juju.
D:

1 more thing: for the love of god remember the happy meal.

goodbye, teenage sex. hello, happy meal.