YESSSS. My life once again has meaning.

Lady GaGa is touring Australia next year. Tickets go on sail on the 11th of this month. GUESS WHO IS OBVIOUSLY GOING TO GO AND RAPE GAGA. MOI.
Going to make my own outfit for the event & a Disco Stick.
Shall be fabulous.
Mmmmmmmm.

Now I know.

There's someone I wish walked through these halls.

Take me away from this empty house. I'm... suffocating on nothing. Because that's all there is when he's not here. I miss... I miss the yelling. The stupid fights, the laughter and the stupid jokes. I miss my family. I don't want to leave him. At all. I just.. I wish I could see them more.
My dad called the other day. I'm supposed to go see him in September, but I'm a little reluctant. Don't want to leave Christen. It's not that he won't cope without me; it's that I won't cope without him. Before I moved in I was always here for like.. 4 days. When I had to go home, it killed me. I need him. I can't sleep if he's not next to me. It's comforting.
So I'm thinking of telling my dad that we'll go down in December. Christen, Jono, Jarrod, Glen and I are planning a road trip. Shall be fun, assuming it works out. If not dad will pay for me and Christen to go down. We'll celebrate New Years together.
Despite all the bad things my dad has done in the past, he's still my father biologically. I'd like to try and have him as a father emotionally, too. He's trying, I know. I just hope he keeps it up. He's happy that I'm happy and he seems to be okay with me living with a boyfriend. I guess he trusts me and my grandparents. I mean, they wouldn't let me live with someone that's abusing me.
ALTHOUGH HE DID JUST HEADBUTT ME IN THE EYE/NOSE... Accidentally.. While he was pantsing me. Dx

We finally had sex for the first time in like.. Weeks. We'd both been sick and I don't feel very sexy when I'm constantly having to blow my nose. The night I surprised him with lace and leather I ended up being sick. >_________<; Stupid flu. I'm cured now, at least.

I had a dream the other night that Christen and I had a child. We were both older and had nice jobs. I hope it's a sign because it was the ebst feeling I've ever felt in my life. He seems to think I'm going to baby rape him. ;eye roll.; I want kids; but I don't want them right this instant. lol@me being a mother.

Goodbye, antidote. Hello, homesick.

Surprising him.

With lace and leather.

Christen worked like 13 hours today.
So I'm sitting here with leather boots on.
In sexy lingerei.
Wearing my ooooold glasses that make my eyes hurt.
For him, it's all worth while.


THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT'S BEEN EXCITING IN MY LIFE LOL HOW GAY.
I didn't get hired by McDonalds. ahahahahaha. no, srsly. I didn't.
Centerlink, here i come.

Goodbye, boredom. Hello, sexy legs. ;D

Family.

I spoke to my siblings yesterday. Since the phone wasn't working for months; I didn't have many ways of contacting them; nor they me. I usually get an e-mail from them every week. I guess the stuff I'm about to blog about wasn't important enough for them to tell me.

First of all. My two aunties; Bianca and Sonja came to visit for a few days. I had no idea and missed them. I hadn't seen Sonja since I don't know when; including my cousins and I hadn't seen Bianca since last year when I went to see my dad. (I think it was last year?).
Anyways; so I missed that.
The most important thing, however; was that my Pop suffered his 3rd stroke. Had I known this I would've gone home straight away and helped my grandparents out. However, no one told me. It happened about a month ago. Luke and my pop had a huge fight like a week ago and things got out of hand; so they're staying with my Aunt Tania ( whom I spoke to yesterday and we seem to have forgotten old grudges ). She's trying to make it permanent which I have to agree with. My grandparents aren't stable enough to look after the children. Between gambling problems and anger issues; it's just chaotic. Kate wants to stay there, Joe is undecided and Luke doesn't want to at all.

I can't believe they didn't tell me news as big as that. It's really unfair. ;sigh.; On the plus side; I'm looking forward to $700 in my bank account with which I'm going to buy a Wii. Or a PS3. Undecided at this time.

Goodbye, boredom. Hello, gaming console.

ugh. drunken idiots.

In my previous blog I said I didn't care that the boys were coming over and I meant it. At the start of the night it was pretty fun. I got to hit 3 grown men with a baton. They even bent over. Er'.. Yeah. Jono and Jarrod were pretty wasted after six beers. Not sure about Stephen since he's stupid 24/7 and you can't tell the difference between sober and drunk in regards to him. Anyways, moving on.
We decided to have some vodka. I was game; but I only had a glass. I didn't want to make an ass of myself. Christen didn't drink cause he's sick. Poor thing. D: Anyways. I thought Jono had only had one glass of Vodka and OJ. But then we saw the bottle and.. well.. there was like 1/4 left. o_O;
Jono and Jarrod always start each other; but they know it's a joke. This time, however; things went too far. Jarrod continuously stirred Jono and that resulted in Jono getting pretty pissed.
So; he decided he wanted to go home and was going to drive. Luckily he'd left his keys on the table so I picked them up and pocketed them; as I always do when they start talking about going for drives. Usually it's Jarrod who says it and I know he's just stirring me, but it can't hurt to be too safe. Jarrod kept stirring and then Jono decided to try and fight him. Stephen held him back and then Jono turned to me and was like..
Jono: Can I have my keys please?
Me: Uh. No. You're not driving drunk. End of story.
Jono: Give me my fucking keys. I don't care if I get caught it's my fucking right.
Me: How about you stop being so fucking selfish and think of your friends you fucking idiot. If we let you go and drive drunk and you have an accident, it'll be on our conscience.
Jono: Jarrod's driven drunk before.
Me: And if I knew he was going to, I would've taken his keys too.
Jono: Give me my keys.
Me: If you can get someone to drive you home, I'll give them your keys and you can come and get your car in the morning.
Jono: What's the difference between me driving and someone else?
Me: THE DIFFERENCE IS YOU'RE FUCKING DRUNK AND THEY'RE NOT. FUCK.

And it went on like that for about half an hour. He didn't know my mum, so he doesn't understand how stubborn I am.
Anywho. He was like 'I'll walk home.' And he started walking Stephen comes in and is like 'He's already left the street and is going home, can I have his keys?'
I gave them to him and then Jono comes back in. With. His. Keys. :| I was pretty fucking shitty at this point.
1 problem for Jono was that Glen was parked behind him (Thank you God). So then Jono was like 'Move your car Glen.' Of course, Glen refused and Jono then proceeded to threaten to ram into Glen's car etc'. He was calling us all cunts lol. YEAH I'M A CUNT FOR TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE. UGH, DICK.
Then Glen said something and Jono misheard it and then tried to start Glen. Stephen and Jarrod grabbed him and Jono punched Jarrod in the ribs. It sounded like it hurt. So then Jono walks off to the BP; which is like 5 minutes away and Jarrod goes after him, with Stephen trailing behind just incase. Christen, Glen and I were like. 'Jesus Christ, drunken idiot.'
So Jono comes back and Jarrod and Glen have to literally carry him upstairs and to the kitchen sink to wash the blood off his hands cause he'd cut his hands from clenching his fists and then punching some inanimate object.
Stu; some random person I'd met like twice then showed up and took Jono home. Thank God. Then I cleaned up, Glen and Jarrod took Stephen home and we all went to bed.
Jono came in the morning to get his car and didn't even appologise for ruining everyone's night. He acted like a total dick. I'm pretty sure he hates me, but whatever. If he stops being my friend cause I was doing the right thing, he's not a friend worth keeping.

Goodbye, Vodka. Hello, sanity.

We can't make up.

For the lost times that we both apologised for.

Let me start with this.
Dejan: I've got $0 to my name. Wait until next weekend when I can get $$ from Christen and/or my g-parents? D:

I feel restless. I'm so tired of being at home doing nothing. I'm trying to be productive and I'm writing again. I'm hoping to submit some chapters to publishers next year. Here's hoping? Christen's dad was in hospital yesterday. He may have cancer, I don't know. Christen doesn't really know anything, either. While Chris isn't my most favourite person in the world; I wouldn't wish cancer upon anyone.
So; I've thought of a new idea for a story. The one I was working on before satisfied me, but I couldn't do anything to it without ruining its beauty. Apparently my writing inspired people. lololol. Yeah, okay, guys. I'm not that great.

My McDonald's interview has been postponed until next Friday. Which is good, I guess. I can get things organised better.

Sometimes I think that I'm setting my goals too high. I mean; am I really going to be able to get a book published? Even if I have to self-publish a few copies; I'll be happy. I'm going to use my inheritence to help get me off my feet. Pay for my veterinary school and put the rest in an account to gather interest for a deposit on either a house or space for my own Veterinary Clinic & Animal Shelter. Though, considering how things are going at the moment with Christen, I'll most likely use it for a house. It's our dream to own a house together.
I've sorted things out with Christen, too. I think I was just being a sook cause it was that time of the month. Well, partly. I meant everything I said; I just didn't want to be that dramatic about it. ;sigh.;
I blog too much about Christen. But, these blogs are about my life and he's a big part of it; so what do you expect?
I'm missing my friends at the moment. I mean the true friends. Must stay over Dejan and Sladjana's house a.s.a.p. I miss the food & their crazy PaPa. Lol.
Christen and I are going on a picnic tomorrow. The last and only time we went on one was when we first started dating. It was really fun; even though we just lay there all day. It was nice to be with him. We're thinking of going at night for some ;). Just kidding. Maybe.. ;<_<>_>;
It's been a good day today. I'm happy; I feel relaxed and I don't care that his friends are coming over this weekend. I'm going to do lovey stuff in front of them. They can get over the awkwardness. I don't think they realise I'm actually a girl. It's cause I game and laugh at stupid things like boys do. I'm a hermaphrodite? No, Sara, too far.

Goodbye, worries. Hello, relaxation.

Where are you?

And I'm so sorry.

I miss Christen. Not just while he's at work. But while he's here. I can't help but think that we're drifting apart. It's a scary feeling. I don't want to lose grip of the one good thing I have. Not when it took me so long to get it where I wanted it to be. I'd been fighting for him for years and things seem to be going good for us.
I think maybe I'm just being a sook. Being on my period does that to me. He's just always working and I don't hate him for that. I know he's working for me so he can buy me nice things and take me to nice places and buy me Pokemon cards to feed my addiction. Even if I only spent half an hour doing something with him, it'd be better than him coming home; playing some form of game and then sleeping. I miss when we just stayed up for hours talking about anything and everything.
Give that back to me, my love.

It seems to me that maybe I won't be getting thatjob at McDonalds. My g-parents are on holiday (nice of them to let me know) and I need my Birth Certificate and Medicare Card to prove I can actually work in Australia legally. ;sigh.; Why do things have to be so complicated? I'll still go to the interview and just ask them to excuse my illegal immigrant status for the time being.

I'm getting fat. Not really. But I'm getting a bit of a belly. I still find myself ridiculously sexy and enjoy staring at myself in the mirror while wearing sexy lingerei. But, still. It's not a good feeling, knowing that I'm slowly becoming unattractive. I need to do martial arts again. Not sure which, though. I'm thinking maybe I should take Aikido up again. But I feel like I'm betraying my old Sensei if I do. Since where I will be doing it is our rival Dojo. >__<; I wouldn't mind doing Muay Thai or Capoeira. Mm. Decisions, decisions.

Goodbye, simplicity. Hello, complexity.